My experience with sleep paralysis

I laid straight on my bed trying to move, trying to scream but all in vain. I badly wanted to wake my husband up who was peacefully snoring but was not able to utter a word. I felt as if someone or something was sitting on me and choking my neck hard. For a moment, I started feeling that, it would be my last breath and this came as an indication. This is the worst nightmare of my life. I somehow wanted to wake up or move as I could hear sound from my husband, the sound coming from outside and wondered why am I not able to move or speak. Finally, with great difficulty, I managed to move my arms and everything seemed to be normal then on.

I walked to the kitchen and drank water to ensure I am alright. As I drank, I was wondering what was happening to me. I woke my husband and narrated all that I experienced. He chuckled it off saying that I was only hallucinating or probably I was dreaming and slowly he drifted back to his dreamland.

No, I was neither dreaming nor hallucinating. Something had just happened and wanted to know what it was to have a peaceful sleep for the rest of the night. Then came to my rescue was Google. I came to know that it was sleep paralysis which is not uncommon in people and then I was relieved that I am not alone and there are people who have experienced the similar situation.

But what is sleep paralysis and why did it hit me?
A person experiences sleep paralysis when he is trying to wake up or falling asleep where he cannot move his body temporarily. But he will completely be aware of what is happening around him and can hear things. It lasts for few seconds to 2-3 minutes.
Sleep paralysis can occur to anyone having trouble sleeping, changing the sleep pattern, jet lag, family history of sleep paralysis, sleeping in back etc.

Whatever the reason is, I was relieved that there is no harm in this and it is very common. Moreover, I was relaxed because now I know I was not hallucinating. I slowly went back to sleep and woke up fresh in the morning.

And finally! She is out of the abusive relation

Yes, Sanju was in a very abusive relationship. A relation where she had to undergo too much of pain. She was dating a guy for 3 years and in these years all that she got was tears and only tears. There was no single day where she slept without having any fights with. She was dominated and being controlled by the love of her life. But, she had no way to escape and moreover, she felt love to be stronger than the pain. 

She met her guy at her friend's party where she exchanged her number and started being in contact. Little did she know that she would end up being in an abusive relationship. Initially, things were fine and he showered loads and loads of love to her. She was showered with her favourite chocolates and gifts each time they met. As time passed, she started knowing his true colours. He started doubting her with every single guy, her classmate, her brother, an auto driver and everyone else. She was being dominated and rules were set on her. She had to change her number and he decided to whom she has to share the number with. He kept track of all her activities. He never allowed her to do things on her own and that she liked. She had to seek his permission for all the little things. 

Sanju tried hard to make him understand that she has a life of her own and that she needs some space for herself which ended up in a fight again. She finally wanted to give it a quit when he abused her for attending an interview without his knowledge and against his wish. He had already stopped her from attending two interviews saying what is a need for women to work, men will exploit her, she will have to talk to men at the office. But when third company came for placements, she attended the interview without informing him. She was successful in the interview and was placed with a very good package. Her parents and friends were all very happy except for him. He started showing his insecurities and started abusing her stating she cheated and lied to him. She realised this is not the life she is leading and deserves a better life. She thought to herself when her parents have supported her in all her dreams why is she spoiling it for a man who doesn't even respect her dreams. With this thought, she had to put a full stop to her relationship. 

She had given a lot of chances to her guy and would fall into the trap of his emotional blackmail. So she made a firm decision, went to her cousin's place to a different state for a month and kept her phone off. All this while she never contacted him and she spoke to her parents on her brother's phone. By the time she got back, she was over him and became stone hearted for his emotions. He tried contacting her several times but she didn't answer the call even once and she fully got over the relation.
Now, she is leading a very happy life and enjoying to the fullest. She has no one to script her life and control her. She has realized, when things are not worth it then there is nothing wrong with letting it go.

Happy birthday to world's best dad

Appa, no matter how hard I try I cannot be like you. You are a man of simplicity and down to earth. You have given a very rich culture to us (to me and akka) because of which we are able to survive in this world. You have made us strong and independent because of which we can handle any situation. I remember all your struggles and sacrifices you made just to make us smile. You are always there by our side as a strong pillar of support.

Today, on your 63rd birthday I wish you a very happy birthday. I just want to tell you that we love you a lot and Akka and I are very lucky to be your daughters. You are a gem of a person and you are loved by all for the way you are.
We love you appa and happy birthday.

Vacation! A much needed change

Post delivery my life was only revolving around my baby from feeding her to changing her nappies, from bathing her to putting her to sleep. I had no time for myself and I very much needed a small change. I knew I cannot take a break but at least I can have some change to relax myself. So planned for a vacation for 3 days with other couple friend of ours.

Once in a while, a small trip brings in a lot of difference.
People commented what different is it gonna be in doing the same thing at a different place. But I felt, even a small trip and change in place brings a lot of difference and trust me that did relax my mind and we had a great time. My little one also enjoyed a lot and played well.

We planned a trip to pondy and that place was a real stress buster. From beaches to ashram, food to shopping everything was great. With my cooperative baby, things were easy and the trip was even more enjoyed. 

Responsibilities are a part of our life. Sometimes, we are so involved in our work that we forget to enjoy our lives or live in the moment. We might get stressed out. So even if we have a baby, there is nothing wrong in planning a trip. Go on a small vacation and enjoy life.

Sexual harassment on women. Will it ever end?

We hear about women being physically exploited every single day. Not just women, but even minors and old ladies too. But why is it increasing day by day? Has man left with no fear in him? Or is it a poor law that punishes no man for this act?
Whatever the reason is, somehow we need to put an end to this. Most of the time, women fear and avoids sharing what she faced to others. Women should start getting bold and speak out openly about what is happening. She should not fear in letting the man get punished. In a public place, if she encounters an harassment, she should not hesitate to create a scene that attracts the public. Every woman should take a bold step to put an end to such activities.

No! I am not a bad mom

If you are a first-time mom, then you probably know how it feels like. Every day is a learning phase for you and every day you gain experience in one or the other way. Not to mention you also get stronger day by day.
The difficult phase of motherhood is protecting your little munchkin from all the illness. You do your best to keep her safe, away from common cold and flu, yet,  sometimes things are not in your hand and your little one will be suffering from fever or cold. If your baby throws tantrums to eat, then somehow by hook or crook you have to feed her, even if she is crying. Because every mom wants her little one's tummy to be full.
The worst part is, you start getting comments and opinions from others about your parenting skills. Each person has a different comment and suggestion. The same thing happened to me when my baby fell sick. I was being blamed saying I was careless. Sometimes, if the baby cries while having food, again I am blamed I have no parenting skills and art of feeding.
But, as a mother, everyone knows what is best for their child, how to keep her safe and how to feed her. Sometimes, things happen which is out of our control. Now, I have understood that people speak whatever they want and however they want. As a new mommy, I am doing my best and yes, I am not at all a bad mom.